Making sure to laugh; while we experience anti-gravity

its been a minute since i blogged. dont really know why, just have had other things on my mind i suppose. man, working at 5am is for the fucking birds, literally. a couple of weeks ago, i went out w/ some friends to what is called 'ladies 80s.' its exactly what it sounds like, chicks in side pony tails. day glo stretch pants and plastic jewelry, and the douche bag boys that go along w/ this retardation. you know the ones, they just stand around afraid to dance, and watch the girls dance like they are molly ringwold in the breakfast club, or better yet, pretty in pink...they just stand there until one of the girls (or more, whatev) get hammered on $.25 well vodka or fruity rum drinks and are dumb enough to stumble back to the dorms with them.......by now you can tell why i was there, and why my stupid friends were there as well-----the dumb girls, wait, no, the 25cent drinks.....as im standing at the bar for my bazillionth time waiting for the well whiskey and flat soda, i see a boy.....he's wicked cute so i ask a friend of mine if he knows him....he does....he introduces us....i PROMPTLY forget his name before he's even done saying it....we go out onto the dance floor to stand around and watch the girls dance like aly sheedy and co and suddenly he breaks into dance.....literally, he was breakin like it was his job to run dmc(its 80s night, remember?) it was fucking great... i mean, heres a guy who looks like a total dweeb for doing this and it matters none to him, he's out to have a good time......didnt last too long, we all got too warm in the douche bag packed place and went outside for smokes.....at this point cute boy who's name i dont remember says 'lets go across the street, get out of this weird place' or some shit like that...im in. he's cute and i hate side pony tails...not to mention he and i are like the only ones not dressed like its 1985 (sidenote, an 80s night and not ONE cure song, or even tears for fears, man, this is shittastic) in fact, he and i are dressed nearly identically, baggy shorts, vans, black tshirt, wide rimmed black specs and a whiskey buzz.....so we bail, go across the street and lo and behold there is a band playing, a GOOD band, they are playing a sublime song, the bar is not too packed but not at all uncomfortably empty....the rest of the crew follows in a bit, but for a while its just me and the boy who's name i cant remember......we get closer to the stage and realize that it is not just a band it is the long beach dub allstars...featuring the bass player (cue ball) from sublime, and just playing sublime allllll night long....boy whos name escapes me and myself are dancing our fool heads off and drinking tall pbrs....he reaches back and grabs my hand out of no where, i dont protest, i may not remember his name but he is cute in a very NON tragic way.......smoke break time, i go out on my own, he doesnt smoke, which is good.....and wouldnt you know, big mike is standing outside, fucking wasted...i dont mean he had a buzz on and was slurring, i mean, wasted like his eyes were closed and if he didnt lay down soon he was going to fall...he came over and put his arm around me 'whats up girl?' he smelled bad, he looked worse, he was a mess...'whos that dude you been dancing with all night?' i just looked at him, and got over him right then and there, i mean over over....he's a drunk and a complete joke, what did i see in him at all? gross.as im staring at him thinking this, boy whos name is lost in my head comes outside and introduces himself to big mike...i hear 'hey man, im jaosdighoodhgo' seriously, my brain just will not allow me to commit this kids name to memory.....this gives mike some sort of reason to get pissy and walk away...good riddance. i go back inside w/ skater boy....suddenly a girl appears from no where and runs up to him....she is beautiful and seems to be very sweet and down to earth....sara is her name....i tell her she has beautiful eyes and walk away.....boy stays with her. no big deal, i mean i dont even know his name.....ten minutes later, he's gone and the prof and i walk to mias.......a week or so later, i go to see billy bob thorton at the orpheum w/ some friends, we get hammered.....they want to go back to someones place to drink more etc....but im over it, i just want to go home....so i drop off cody and bail.....driving home, i start thinking, you know what, maybe i'll stop in at mias for some whiskey before i hit the sack.....and i do. i drink my drink on the patio by myself cause there is NO ONE at the bar that night, its kinda nice cause its a bit rainy and cool, perfect end to a weird night......i go inside to cash out my tab and who should be standing there but boy who's name doesnt exist......looking super cute in his redfield tshirt, yeah you heard right, his REDFIELD tshirt....if you dont know the significance of that, well then never you mind.... he calls me over, says hi and reintroduces me to sara...the girl w/ the pretty eyeballs....i say hi and tell him that i was just leaving and he offers to buy me a drink because its our mutual friend jimmy's bday and well, he wanted to talk about authority zero w/ me...um, ok. so i hang out, he pays almost no attention to sara...talking to me the whole time, when its time to leave, she walks off w/ jimmy and he asks if id like to go hang out w/ him at the 'after party' i say no, cause its tuesday night and go home.......the next day i answer my request line '939 the mountain' voice on the other end says'lauralee i have a bone to pick with you....it seems that you dont remember my name' im like huh? cause i deal w/ whackos all day on this station so i have NO clue who it would be....i tell him this....he says 'its josh, we hung out last night at mias...etc...' my heart does a flip....he asks me to dinner, but i have to work, then he gives me his number and says to call him if i change my mind...he doesnt ask for mine, ball is in my court so to speak.....i go to bunny's for a beer and dinner that evening and dont call him.....i ask everyone i know if i should call him, and its mixed...some say that i HAVE to, some say no....i wait, he calls me. how did he get my number????!? he called about 10 ppl to track it down....that is persistant. he says 'lets go see guttermouth' um, ok......he calls back in 10 minutes, saying he was at the venue and there were only about 10 14yr olds there, and it wasnt worth the 20bucks to see guttermouth in a shit venue so why dont we meet at mias instead? i say no, bunny yells at me, i call back with an ok....im nervous like a 12 year old when i walk in there, its chilly but im sweating, i spot him on the patio....he looks just as nervous...we sit in one spot all night talking and hardly drinking at all, beers are getting warm because we wont shut up and drink....i see that he has amazing eyeballs, we talk about our kids, our jobs, music, movies....i tell him that my asshole sister is getting ready to go to the midnight opening of dark knight, he almost cries....opening his hoodie i see that he is wearing a brinniwear tshirt...again, if you dont understand this, dont worry...it means more to me than to you.....he notices the rise against lyrics written on my shoes.......he almost cries......we leave the bar, i give him a hug and he says 'why dont you come by my house?' i give in.....its somewhat early and ive had a really good time w/him so far....its close, why not? we get to his amazing house and i am pissy because he has 6 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms an amazing kitchen(which is key, he's a chef) and a huge backyard...the front yard consists of nothing but wildflowers in every color and shape....he pays 300 dollars a month. i hate him for this and i tell him so.....i rifle through his record collection----actual vinyl, im falling in love....bowie, zep, RANCID, op ivy, misfits, beastie boys....wait what the fuck? limp bizkit????? im leaving. he says its one of those things he just acquired, i understand, i have things like ann murray on vinyl...he is forgiven when he says 'want to light them on fire?' thats it, its official, he's amazing....we go out into his yard, throw some zippo fluid all over fred durst's masterpiece and whooooooosh!blue flames, lets play frisbee w/ this....this guy is awesome.....we sit on a batman blanket and look at the stars and talk some more, its now a million oclock...he asks if he can kiss me....i dont say no.......i get dizzy when this happens so i tell him its time for me to leave.....not dizzy cause i dont feel well, but dizzy cause i am so engrossed in this kiss that i forget to breathe.....i leave.....im home in 2 seconds and my phone is ringing, 'you should come back and watch the goonies w/ me' i say ok.....i put my pjs on and go back....we watch the goonies and fall asleep......a couple of days later, he has his daughter....its the weekend and i admire the fact that he gives a shit about his little girl, he LOVES this kid, and it shows, that is endearing.... so he cant attend the day drinking mission that cody and i are on....oh well, hes ditching me for a legit reason, and he called me to tell me this, and he's texting me all day, im ok w/ not seeing him....but i text him and tell him that the selfish part of me wishes he would sneak out while his ma has his baby so i can see him...not expecting such....im standing at the bar ordering a pitcher when he walks in......i blush badly.......he has a beer then goes back to being daddy...this makes me like him more....day drinking continues into the evening....i see some ppl from phx that i hadnt in a while, chill w/ gabe and cody, life is good.......decide to go back to mias cause the patio is awesome and its raining, i love rain....and the pogues....but mostly the rain.....i text him, tell him that i hope hes having a good night, he asks where i am, i say on the way to mias.....i walk in, and he's there, he snuck out again........i like him more.......we have a great time, talking shit, drinking whiskey....its time to go.....we stand outside and talk....he tells me that when he kissed me at his house a couple days ago, he thought his heart was going to explode. i agree.....he goes home i go home........he calls asking to see me the next day........i dont say no...............


josh, his name is josh....

I'm home alone tonight.
Full moon illuminates my room, and sends my mind aflight.
I think I was dreaming up some thoughts that were seemingly
possible...with you.
So I call you on the tin can phone.
We rendezvous at a quarter-two, and make sure we're alone.
I think I've found a way for you and I to finally fly free.
When we get there, we're gonna fly so far away.
Making sure to laugh; while we experience anti-gravity.
For years, I kept it to myself.
Now potentialities are bound, and living under my shelf.
Simply choose your destination from the diamond canopy,and we'll be there.