Punk rock girl let's go slamdance

i am excited about edgefest....like more excited than ive been in a long time. my kid sis is coming with. she's never even been to a CONCERT much less the insanity that usually ensues when 60 some bands and 30k punk rock kids and all of the edge-ites get together. can NOT wait. leaving tomorrow soon as i get off work. been really really really considering slc...to the point where im pretty sure im going to go........and then communications ceased. the pd was supposed to call me yesterday and let me know if my salary requirements could be met... he didnt. still havent heard from him today and im starting to worry. he gave me an enormous number the other day and i was thrilled but low key about it, then he said he couldnt meet that one after all, and asked what i would NEED to get there....i gave him a solid number. a LOW number in the grand scheme of things, and a number based on cost of living, etc.......completely fair. besides, if he cant meet it---he should tell me, not make me sit around and wonder, right? right. my ex husband is a cock sucking piece of scum that i am disgusted i ever let touch me. the worm told him about the potential of a move, and he said 'well if you move out of state, then i finally can too' ok, whatever...no big deal. when i asked him why he had said that, he first called me a liar, saying that i made up the fact that he said that to her. fuck off. then went on to tell me that i look out for no one but myself and do not care how things affect my child. FUCK off. the conversation ended with him calling me a whore and telling me to go fuck myself. hahahah, brilliant. now, if only he'd get out of my life, and quit pretending that he has any rights to my kid, i would be much happier. i cannot believe, actually, that i hate this man so much. i didnt always hate him or want him to die, but things have changed and boy do i now!!! whatever.....so i called josh out on his using me for my connects to things ie, edgefest.....and he denied, of course. i told him that if he came with me, he would go back to ignoring me and banging sarah soon as it was over...he denied. then he said he wasnt coming with me, and that he loves me and wants me in his life as his friend...again....and then he asked me to pick up his 4 year old in the valley and bring her back to him on sunday. i said i would think about it, because something in his voice makes me retarded still and even though my whole being was screaming 'fuck no, you stupid stupid son of a bitch' i told him i would think about it. he said, 'cool, call you later' that was 3 days ago and i havent heard from him. hence the blog about being over it.....i have to be. in super cheesy cliche mode, i think you know if it was meant to be, it will be.....but in super punk rock dont give a fuck mode, i think----i need a real man, cant continue to date boys...ive said it before, but still find myself running after guys younger than me and by FAR less mature than me. emotionally anyway. im sure its because guys that i am attracted to, you know---the still rockin a trucker hat sideways, tattoos,slacker clothes, preferably a skate board but a crusier with ape hangers works too, chucks---i mean, come on...but the guys im attracted to are all under the age of 25....so, should i start a petition to ask boys 28-36 years old to dress that way? or should i bring myself to giving up the hope of a punk rock wedding and start looking at guys in cowboy hats and/ or business suits? is there a happy medium? man----been listening to a lot of joey cape/ tony sly again....lets just say, its either really theraputic or really heartbreaking...either way, its dope. how much longer can i ramble without plugging in song lyrics??? who scheduled bands? i mean, who the FUCK put the kooks and a zip on at the same time? ive seen authority a bazillion times....never seen the kooks...but if you remember my blog from the other day, i really miss them right now. i really really miss them right now. same to be said w/ NOFX. they are on opposite gogol bordello! the choice with most likely be to see fat mike and the kids but shit! i wanna see gogol...they are a grrrrrreat show to see, so so good. perhaps a boy as well aged and super duper awesome like steve 'crooked neck' caballero...you know youre still rocking your half cabs...i know i am...so is the worm...if this guy were taller, id be writing him stalker letters......or maybe a patt duffy? or no, i know!!! MIKE CARROLL yep, mike carroll, he's on the right in the pic above, you know, just so you know.skated for my fave team PLAN B and also was the guy behind GIRL SKATEBOARDS back in the day, which is what i rocked for most of my young life...not cause they were called 'girl' but because the graphics were amazing and if you put big fat pigs on them, they made you happy...( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Carroll ) well, im out, gotta piss and im awaiting a phone call or some sort of communication from slc....and stupid ass grant is supposed to call me back too......cant wait to skate down the hill manana.........

♥

One Saturday I took a walk to Zipperhead

I met a girl there

And she almost knocked me dead

Punk rock girl please look at me

Punk rock girl what do you see?

Let's travel round the world

Just you and me punk rock girl

I tapped her on the shoulder

And said do you have a beau?

She looked at me and smiled

And said she did not know

Punk rock girl give me a chance

Punk rock girl let's go slamdance

We'll dress like Minnie Pearl

Just you and me punk rock girl

We went to the Phillie Pizza Company

And ordered some hot tea

The waitress said "Well no We only have it iced"

So we jumped up on the table

And shouted "anarchy"

And someone played a Beach Boys song

On the jukebox

It was "California Dreamin''

So we started screamin

"On such a winter's day"

She took me to her parents

For a Sunday meal

Her father took one look at me

And he began to squeal

Punk rock girl it makes no sense

Punk rock girl your dad is the Vice President

Rich as the Duke of Earl

Yeah you're for me punk rock girl

We went to a shopping mall

And laughed at all the shoppers

And security guards trailed us

To a record shop

We asked for Mojo Nixon

They said "He don't work here"

We said "If you don't got Mojo Nixon Then your store could use some fixin''

We got into a car

Away we started rollin'

I said "How much you pay for this?"

She said "Nothing man, it's stolen"

Punk rock girl you look so wild

Punk rock girl let's have a child

We'll name her Minnie Pearl

Just you and me

Eating fudge banana swirl

Just you and me

We'll travel round the world

Just you and me

punk rock girl

stupid punk rocker with a bad haircut

eat a bag of shit
you suck i can't believe the luck you have
its not bestowed upon me
and my pants are falling down
i would have another drink
except it might be poisoned by my mind
and my pants are falling down
i don't know what you've
been drinking but pour another one for me
my pants are falling down
the room is spinning around
my stomach is making funny sounds
i'm falling down
fuck you i hate you is all she said
as she slappedmy face and spit beer on me
and my pant are falling down
she said, you're a no good, ugly,dumb, stupid punk rocker
with a bad haircut
and your pants are falling down
i don't know what you've been smoking
but pack another bowl for me

(diesel boy, i guess its a trend this week...)


um, youre not jesus, youre bob.

whats an emo boy to do with a broken heart and some minor chords?

done with it. he can eat my shorts............no, really, sooooooo done. the thing is, he just isnt seeing what he's missing and well, fuck him for it. yeah, i told him we could be friends, and yeah i told him i was fine with it, and yeah i told him that it was cool if we talked about things that friends talk about ie; hooking up with sluts etc.........but i lied. i lied hard. i dont want to be friends with him. not because im not mature enough to deal with the fact that he doesnt want to be with me because he is 'afraid' not because i cant handle the fact that he used the word 'girlfriend' with me today referring to good ole sarah with the pretty eyes, not even because he dropped the 'i love you' bomb on me less than a week ago but followed it with days and days of talking about her to me......but because he's a hypocrit, a wanna be player who cant even play.......i was a member of a club a long time ago that seriously INVENTED the game of mind fuck. believe me, i learned from the best. you know, as i write this, i remember another little life lesson that ray taught me before he died. he went into rehab so that i could be number one to him. meaning it was my turn to not compete with drugs, or guitars, or lesbians or whores with pretty eyes and huge boobs, it really was, and he was going to make it happen... im going to hold out now for someone who can do that for me. i think i deserve to be a priority for someone, right? fuck this kid, really.....i can fuck with heads better than most people.....but i choose not to. this cat doesnt even know the rules of the game...he gives me all of this shit about how he 'doesnt want to be attached' and that im the 'most amazing girl he's ever been with' and its all fucking bullshit....he wants to be his best friend jimi....jimi is a man whore, he refers to HIMSELF as a man whore, and he's damn good at it....he's got a different girl on his arm every time i see him...and these chicks are cool with it, they are aware of whats going on....with josh, he broke the number one rule of the game---he fell in love with the girl. now im done with it, ......and then what? he will have racked up another one in the L column for boys who dont get it.


he read every issue of punk planet with a tissue
bad reviews of his favorite band made him cry
and he could hardly believe that jawbreaker signed to dgc
he took it personally that blake had lied when all that he loved was thru
whats an emo boy to do
with a broken heart and some minor chords?
inspiration lame on the floor he was just barely sixteen when he started his fanzine he could lay his broken heart out on the page
and it got real inspiring when people started writing in
he was not alone
he was not alone
when all his work was done he put
on side one
boxcar sang him to sleep
locked away in an emo dream
one foggy night at the bottom of the hill
front and center for jets to brazil
emo boy met emo girl
barrettes in her hair and buddy holly glasses and laminated passes
they left the club and went back to his house and fooled around to the new
record from modest mouse

(diesel boy)

So leave yourself intact

I'm gonna ride this plane out of your life again
I wish that I could stay, but you argue
More than this I wish, you could've seen my face
In backseats staring out, the window

I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips
I love you

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up

I've earned through hope and faith
On the curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever
If morning never comes for either one of us
Then this I pray to you wherever

I'll do anything for you
This story is for you
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to for you)
I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips
I loved you

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up





SO, IVE BEEN THINKING, AND I HAVE AN ANSWER BUT MAY AS WELL POSE IT TO THE MASSES, EH? IS IT POSSIBLE TO HATE SOMEONE AND STILL RESPECT THEM? I SAY YES. IS IT POSSIBLE TO NOT RESPECT SOMEONE AND STILL LIKE THEM? I SAY YES AGAIN.WHAT DO YOU THINK? DOES IT EVEN MAKE SENSE? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IM SAYING? NEW LOW----------COHEED AND CAMBRIA LYRICS. IVE OFFICIALLY LOST IT.IT WAS BETWEEN THIS ONE AND 'STILL' FROM THE FOO FIGHTERS.....EITHER WAY, HOW ABOUT I LISTEN TO NOTHING BUT SAY ABBA FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS UNTIL WASHO COMES HOME????YEAH, WILL THAT WORK??? HE REALLY REALLY TOLD ME THAT ALKALINE TRIO IS NOT AN EMO BAND.....I THINK THEY ARE....AND BOY DO I KNOW EMO BANDS. HAVE YOU READ MY LAST FEW POSTS? WHY IS NO ONE CALLING ME OUT ON THIS SHIT?? I GOTTA GET IT TOGETHER....I FINALLY MISS THE AUTHORITY BOYS...WAS LISTENING TO MY LAST.FM PLAYLIST AND THEY SHOW UP A FEW TIMES, MOSTLY THE LIVE STUFF AND SOME ACOUSTIC.....I THOUGHT I WAS SOOOOOO OVER THEM, BECAUSE, I MEAN, LETS BE REAL---IVE PROBABLY SEEN THEM 650,000 TIMES, RIGHT? CANT WAIT TO SEE EM AGAIN ME THINKS--------SEPT 26. JOSH IS not COMING WITH. AH WELL. I BET HE'S PRETTY BUMMED ABOUT IT, BUT HE'S THE ONE THAT LEFT, NOT ME....I HAVE PRODUCTION TO DO...SEE YA. (PS HOW STONED IS THIS GUY IN THIS PICTURE? 'YOUVE GOT THOSE TIRED EYES, ALL THE TIME'--SAY ANYTHING, AGAIN)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm approaching with great, great trepidation

a couple blogs ago, i said things would be better if i knew what he was thinking. boy was i wrong about that. cause he told me last night what he was thinking and son of a bitch if it didnt make it harder and more confusing.........he loves me, he told me that through the tears. and i believe it all hard......BUT i remind him of his ex girlfriend too much....he says not the bad/psycho/possessive/manipulative/spiteful parts of her, the good parts... wait, what? there are good parts of this chick????? everything 'amazing' about me reminds him of her.......sooooooooo confusing, so so so confusing.... he's gone right now, on the adventure of springerville (http://www.springerville.com/) and its probably better like that, because i really believe that he's going to miss me while he's gone, and realize what he's given up because he is "SCARED OF ME" no seriously, he's afraid that he loves me...and its making me fucking insane.....however, initially he was going to be gone for 3 months, till like dec but now he's saying he just wants to be there long enough to get some shit taken care of....meaning he will be back by halloween most likely....happy joy. or not, or something. so after an hour long phone conversation, and him sobbing and apologizing for being so distant and apprehensive about everything he says he loves me....my reaction???? in my head i am screaming 'NO, JOSH, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT LOVE IS!!!! YOU DONT GET THE FACT THAT MY HEAD IS SWIMMING BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR GOOFY DECISIONS AND YOUR CONSTANT NEED TO PUSH ME AWAY!!!! AGAAAAAGAGGHHHAHAHA!!!'(and other such...) but instead, i say to him 'right on, have a good night, talk to you tomorrow.'

No, it's not what we meant to say.
We don’t really love each other.
What happens when the summer’s over?
How long before distance becomes a chore?
I'm approaching with great, great trepidation.
I hope you’ll understand.

Before you speak think about what you're trying to say.
Who else is there to blame for miscommunication?
You're getting caught up in the excitement.
You making promises you can’t keep.
You need to leave all your options open.

Too much momentum.
This room feels like it's going to explode.
Too many angles.
Too many factors to cover.
Waiting for signal.
You're searching for network.
You have to fight to stay in control of the situation.

Anxiety, Anxiety you give me no mercy.
Grind my teeth smooth and flat in my sleep.
We took some pills to calm us down.
Then we needed help to come back up.
Just trying to stay in control of the situation.

Too much momentum.
This room feels like it's going to explode.
Too many angles.
Too many factors to cover.
Waiting for signal.
You're searching for network.
You have to fight to stay in control of the situation.
They fall apart so easily.

Too much momentum.
This room feels like it's going to explode.
Too many angles.
Too many factors to cover.
Waiting for signal.
You're searching for network.
You have to fight to stay in control.
You have to fight to stay in control.
No, you don’t have to fight to stay in control of the situation.

My heart is yours to fill or burst...

QUESTION OF THE DAY:

WHAT IS THE RATIO OF SKATER/EMO/BREAKDANCING BOYS TO WOMEN IN SLC, UT?

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.