people tell me all the time to get over myself....no, i mean ALL the time.and i never understand what it means....im not even trying to be sarcastic or anything, i just dont understand what the literal meaning of that saying is. i also dont understand what the obsession is with everyone i know freaking out on me at some point.....perhaps(according to friends) its one of those things where since ive decided im not attracted to or want to be with a certain person, they dont even want to be my friend and will find ways to alienate me immediately...i dont really agree with that, but at the same time, it has happened before......now, dont get me wrong, i understand that i have a tendency to lose it, and sometimes(ok, often) take out my frustrations on ppl close to me, and that is probably not fair....however, i dont think anything ive ever talked shit about (be it your skills on the ball field, or your cripling obsession with the foo fighters, or even the way you talk) to my 'friends' -warrants the latest anti-lu campaign. lets check this out for a minute. say you have autism and it makes you socially awkward---i would never give you shit about it, because you cant help it, its a sickness, a disease...not exactly like but sort of like insomnia...its a valid, diagnosed issue=leave it alone. if you had, lets say, been in a motorcycle accident and nearly died and now have screws in your foot that make it a little harder to do what you once did i would never give you shit about it...id be glad you werent crippled. now, if you slip and fall trying to skate a sled down a mountain and break your ankle, im giving you plenty of shit, glad youre ok, but im gonna tease the hell out of you. but back to the screwed foot thing, or maybe a pin in a knee that not only ruined your ball career but set you off on a painkiller addiction that nearly killed you=leave it alone. now for the most most most important one. if you smoke crack cocaine while youre pregnant and you have some more little people running around your house all with different daddys and you cant get off of welfare because of your crack addiction, youre getting shit from me. and all of society....if you have a child who is more amazing than most adults i know, if your child is the entire reason for your survival and the only connection you have left to someone you loved and had to bury, if your child is beautiful and well taken care of AND you do it with no help whatsoever, im not only not talking shit about your parenting but im giving you a fucking medal for not killilng yourself 5 years ago. and yet, THESE are the subjects that my 'friend' decided to go off on...the ones he knew would hurt me the most....it never goes away, it never changes, and of course i have to look at it and realize that i am the common denominator in all of it, so therefore if i choose to better my attitude, these things wouldnt happen...fuck that. sorry, but im one of those love me or hate me kinda chicks, i really dont care.....robotics prevent it, actually. when you are friends w/ me, you know that i am crass, that i am honest to a fault, and that i dont need you.....most of you, i want...but fuck i got friends, i dont need anymore...least of all ones who are too fragile to survive in the acid tongued, whiskey fueled world that i am (according to weaker beings) the ruler of. heres an excerpt from the latest......keep in mind that up until, lets say a week ago, this person and myself were 'friends' enjoy:
"......of course you want to compare childhoods, its a safety issue for you. you know that no matter what i say, you can top it. you have the luxury of launching into that tired old 'im a single mother, ive lived more lifetimes and seen more and done more and...blah blah blah' i cant compete with that and you know it. you love it, you need that. its your fucking get out of jail free card....."
excuse me? ?the LUXURY????
now let me just say, and i refuse to defend myself to any of this, but let me just say that i was comparing his childhood to my kid's not mine.....that being said, he's right about the fact that his spoiled little ass hasnt learned any of the lessons i have so its ridiculous for him to attack that aspect of my personality....here's another good part:
"...you dont act like youre the center of the universe?-laughable. two words: whiskey weekend. the whole time its all about how you hate your birthday and you might freak out at any minute...."
whiskey weekend was my birthday.....sorry, brosef but the world does in fact revolve around me during my birthday....he left out the part where i thanked everyone repeatedly for being there for me because it is a hell day for me....thanks, friend.before i get to my favorite part, let me say this...he lives with his mother and has NO IDEA what real life is like:
"...youre the child. you think youre the only one with problems. you think that getting along means that everyone around you deals with your issues for you. im sick of it, grow the fuck up and dont drag me down with your bullshit..."
remember, ive left out a giant part of this whole thing...like when he told me that my 9 year old is more responsible than i will ever be...now THAT is laughable. i really wish he could spend one day being me.
all i can say is FUCKING BRILLIANT. i have been berated and held down by people better than this.
You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning
You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that's winning
You say I let you down
You know it's not like that
If you're so hurt
Why then don't you show it
You say you lost your faith
But that's not where it's at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it
I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You're in with
Do you take me for such a fool
To think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don't know to begin with
You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, "How are you?"
"Good luck"
But you don't mean it
When you know as well as me
You'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once
And scream it
No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I'd rob them
And now I know you're dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don't you understand
It's not my problem
I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is
To see you
"......of course you want to compare childhoods, its a safety issue for you. you know that no matter what i say, you can top it. you have the luxury of launching into that tired old 'im a single mother, ive lived more lifetimes and seen more and done more and...blah blah blah' i cant compete with that and you know it. you love it, you need that. its your fucking get out of jail free card....."
excuse me? ?the LUXURY????
now let me just say, and i refuse to defend myself to any of this, but let me just say that i was comparing his childhood to my kid's not mine.....that being said, he's right about the fact that his spoiled little ass hasnt learned any of the lessons i have so its ridiculous for him to attack that aspect of my personality....here's another good part:
"...you dont act like youre the center of the universe?-laughable. two words: whiskey weekend. the whole time its all about how you hate your birthday and you might freak out at any minute...."
whiskey weekend was my birthday.....sorry, brosef but the world does in fact revolve around me during my birthday....he left out the part where i thanked everyone repeatedly for being there for me because it is a hell day for me....thanks, friend.before i get to my favorite part, let me say this...he lives with his mother and has NO IDEA what real life is like:
"...youre the child. you think youre the only one with problems. you think that getting along means that everyone around you deals with your issues for you. im sick of it, grow the fuck up and dont drag me down with your bullshit..."
remember, ive left out a giant part of this whole thing...like when he told me that my 9 year old is more responsible than i will ever be...now THAT is laughable. i really wish he could spend one day being me.
all i can say is FUCKING BRILLIANT. i have been berated and held down by people better than this.
You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning
You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that's winning
You say I let you down
You know it's not like that
If you're so hurt
Why then don't you show it
You say you lost your faith
But that's not where it's at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it
I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You're in with
Do you take me for such a fool
To think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don't know to begin with
You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, "How are you?"
"Good luck"
But you don't mean it
When you know as well as me
You'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once
And scream it
No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I'd rob them
And now I know you're dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don't you understand
It's not my problem
I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is
To see you
10 comments:
fuck you. i never called you out by name here, and i wouldnt have....this was my own rant. im a coward? hahahaha you walk past me in the hall and act like im not there, you are the epitome of coward, sir.. fuck you fuck you fuck you. you impress me with your ability to cut right to the core, talking about people in my life who have killed themselves is ridiculous, has nothing to do with me.death is off limits. have i ever or would i ever say something to you about losing your father? something like its a good thing he's not around to see what youve not done with your life? fuck you. i sent the only other email to you WHILE i was talking to you on the phone about the fact that you wont talk to me face to face.ooooh, let me sob my eyes out because you worked at a home for kids who are nuts.....sorry man, i AM that kid. you really really really need to figure out who you are before you go off on me. me grow up??? brother, fuck you. please dont ever speak to me again, thanks
thats considered speaking, dont do it anymore.
Don't talk shit about my cripling obsession with Foo Fighters on your blog!
Or my toe pins!
Wait, that's not really the point is it? Wait, what is the point?
Dude's being a dick 'cause he told you he loved you and you denied him. Not the first time that has happened, and can't imagine it will be the last either. It's the old adage: If you can't have what you want, push it away. He's trying to piss you off so much that the friendship fails and then he really won't want you any more. Only problem is that shit never works, it just makes it worse.
Trust me, been there, done that!
Oh, and just for the record, I have a worse life than both of you. I never did drugs as a kid, none of my friends ever killed themselves, I grew up in a reasonably stable household with a family that, for the most part, truly loved me. I volunteered at soup kitchens and taught people about God. I saw the Pope speak live in person, but I don't think God exists (anymore). Did I mention the part about having a loving family and (mostly) sober parents? So, I guess I lose? :D
Love ya, Lu. Can't wait to see you in 2 weeks!
not that he 'told me he loved me' its just kinda a fact that that is how my life goes...whatever..
Pretty sure I'm in my right mind and I hope I get to speak to Lu again. Like, in 9 days...
FUCK YEAH!!!
wow interesting that steven took down all of his comments....interesting indeed. nice work, man, way to make yourself look like you arent a jerk
Do you think the same guy that told you not to talk ish about Micheal Knight told Steve he had to behave himself?
Does the man behind the curtain look like an alien?
Was JFK really assasinated or is he alive on an island with Elvis and Tupac?
These are the burning questions that keep me up at (k)night.
Post a Comment