You're so cute when you're slurring your speech,But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave

the whiskey weekend.....ah how glorious it was....friday night was the blow out, really...visited every acceptable drinking establishment in down town mayberry......early on, i could feel the vibes in the air, i mean, i did drink a LOT of makers mark even before like 9pm.....i decided that even though my best friends were not there, i have made some damn good ones right here in this town. of course i missed grant and ziede and daddy etc....but it was so good to be surrounded by positive, loving ppl on a weekend where i knew i was going to break down. early on in the night, i saw mike...i knew it was going to happen...he's a drunk and its a small town on a friday night... of course he burned holes in the back of my head staring for a while until i decided to be the bigger person and go have a conversation with him. it was nice....he is tragically cute, after all...i basically told him AGAIN that he shouldnt be weird around me, and that i was doing well, hoped he was too...all the while, there is a chick yelling at him, and me 'where do you guys know each other from??!?!' two problems with this..1)the obvious disregard for grammar and 2) who the FUCK is this girl...however, i enjoyed the fact that he just ignored her as he continued to talk to me....he said he missed me, he said he'd been doing a lot of thinking about what he wants out of life...i said, dont be so serious, lets just have a beer.....then i walked away thinking i had gotten him out of my system(at least for the night) many makers and gingerales later, we walked down the street to the loser strip club...and of course, he was there...and of course, like me, he opted to not go into the club, just stayed out in the front bar, drinking whiskey...he approached me this time, and we had a drink...and a very lacking conversation, in fact we had a bit of an argument at that point...his ride (the obnoxious chick from before) was leaving and basically dragging him out of the bar.....i said 'you dont have to leave, you can chill with us' and he said 'why do you act like you need me to have a good time for your birthday?' of course this pissed me off, because who the FUCK is he to think i need him?? i havent needed anyone in my entire life much less someone who is emotionally fiffuckingteen....so then it was HIS turn to walk away from me. we left that bar and went to the next one, and around bar close, my friends decided to stand around and discuss the fact that we had to get beer soon or miss out. i wasnt going to wait, so i walked down the street toward the store and my house..i did not have my phone because it was in safe hands so i couldnt make whiskey fueled phone calls to big mike, no one knew where i was for a good solid hour..it was kinda nice, except i was wearing my docs that weigh about 9 lbs a piece instead of my chucks like usual..and lets be honest, my house isnt really all that close to where we were...and its up hill the whole way but fuck it, i stopped to get beer and shared one with a homeless guy on a bus bench thinking my friends had to be right behind me, they know me well enough to know that i most likely had to get liquor into my system and get home..i have a habit of doing exactly that. well, they werent behind me, ever.i got home alone and sat on my doorstep drinking miller lite(gross)until my sis rolled up.we started drinking more, then steve got there and i remembered that he was the one who had my phone...4am rolls around and who do you think is blowing my phone up??? yep...none other than....so i,because i think i have a slight case of retardation, get in my car and drive to get him and bring him home...like the time before, i just left my house full of ppl and disappeared only to return with mike...on the way back he said 'your friends are going to trip out on me, right?' i told him no, but that i thought my sister would probably have a word or two for him...we get to my place and she wont even look at him just stares straight ahead and says 'fuck you mike' burn. 3rd degree burn. we hang out and drink some beers and smoke a bit before he says to me, 'i really would like to just sit and talk to you, can we go upstairs?' we go, im standing there brushing my teeth when he starts in again...'you need me' then it was my turn to say 'fuck you, mike' i told him i did NOT need him...i said that i liked him, and that i wanted him, but fuck if i NEEDED him...he walked away, and layed in my bed..where he proceeds to tell me that he wants to be with me but he's scared etc etc....i see through his bullshit like it was a fucking window, he really shouldve just said straight up 'hey, lets bang and then i'll go back to ignoring you' woulda had the same outcome, cause i was down...this boy is good at things and fuck it, its my birthday weekend, a girl had needs.......as you can figure out, he got up in the morning and left...after holding me all night and being the sweetheart that i fell for the first time....the last thing he said to me, as he was kissing me goodbye 'i wont be weird anymore, well not AS weird...'

It was one hundred degrees, as we sat beneath a willow tree,
Who's tears didn't care, they just hung in the air, and refused to fall, to fall.

And I knew I'd made horrible call,
And now the state line felt like the Berlin wall,
And there was no doubt about which side I was on.

Cause I built you a home in my heart,
With rotten wood, it decayed from the start.

Cause you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.

I braved treacherous streets,
And kids strung out on homemade speed.
And we shared a bed in which I could not sleep,
At all, woo, hoo, woo, hooOoOo.

Cause at night the sun in retreat,
Made the skyline look like crooked teeth,
In the mouth of a man who was devouring, us both.

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech,
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave.

And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.

I'm a war, of head versus heart,
And it's always this way.
My head is weak, my heart always speaks,
Before I know what it will say.

And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
There were churches, theme parks and malls,
But there was nothing there all along.