And she was lying in the grass

weekends are made for shlitz....i dont know what that means. friday night, i saw big mike out....for the first time since he started ignoring me....and it was strange. i was surprisingly calm about it, though...at first, i just saw him standing there with his boys, then he disappeared for a bit....we went inside to grab a pint and he was back...this time with a pocket sized blonde in his clutches...he had to have known i was standing right there....leads to the question----why do i keep meeting children? by that i mean, the guys im meeting and have always met, have a mental/emotional/social age of about 16. how do i get away from this? what do i need to do to meet someone NORMAL????? now, dont get me wrong, i love my life....im enjoying living by myself for the first time ever, and i love that i dont have to pick up after or cook for a demanding, suffocating boy anymore.....but come on, im human too and i wouldnt mind making out with a hot guy every once in a while....hahaha. anyway, ray always said 'you bring about what you think about' so maybe im just putting it out into the universe the wrong way....fuck i dont know. i miss him....he was perpetually 16 too, but he at the very least knew that and was trying to remedy it..........grrrrrrrrrr.

lando:ARE YOU AWARE THAT AT FRAT PARTIES, 1 OUT OF EVERY 4 BROS IS A VICTIM OF BRO RAPE AND OF THOSE, ONLY 1 OUT OF 7 WILL TELL THEIR BOYS ABOUT IT THE NEXT DAY?


i love my life.

hey! and she was lying in the grass
And she could hear the highway breathing
And she could see a nearby factory
Shes making sure she is not dreaming
See the lights of a neighbors house
Now shes starting to rise
Take a minute to concentrate
And she opens up her eyes
The world was moving and she was right there with it (and she was)
The world was moving she was floating above it (and she was) and she was
And she was drifting through the backyard
And she was taking off her dress
And she was moving very slowly
Rising up above the earth
Moving into the universe
Drifting this way and that
Not touching ground at all
Up above the yard
She was glad about it... no doubt about it
She isnt sure where shes gone
No time to think about what to tell them
No time to think about what shes done
And she was
And she was looking at herself
And things were looking like a movie
She had a pleasant elevation
Shes moving out in all directions
Joining the world of missing persons (and she was)
Missing enough to feel alright (and she was)