i do it, for sure. always cruising other blogs... i mean, thats kinda what we do, right? what i dont understand is leaving comments on them. no, no i get that leaving comments and visiting blogs is part of this whole thing, but im getting at the leaving of negative, not at all helpful comments on blogs that you have no vested interest in. case in point---read my last blog...then read the comments. brooke, who ever you are...please continue to read my ramblings, its just a waste of your own time, dont bother me none....course, i dont understand why you would being that you dont know me or have any idea what im talking about...but thats fine, whatever....if youre going to leave comments though, why not enable your profile to be read? its only fair right? that i would be able to read and make snide remarks on your stuff too? turn about is fair play or so ive heard. maybe you stumbled upon my crap, or maybe you are someone i know and hate(there are plenty)and youre too cowardly to let yourself be known due to the fact that i have a habit of being pretty mean to ppl....whatever. i dont care....i think youll get plenty bored soon enough.
ah ok, my moment of confusion, zen is over.....moving on.............
i figured out the other night, that i do in fact, miss ray. of course you are thinking how could i not miss him? but its not like that, i miss him in like a bunch of ways. yeah, he's dead. im still not ok with that....im still not really accepting it as reality, sadly enough...and that is most definately not lending itself to my healing...ah well(lame, right brooke?) but more than that, i miss him being in my life. he was always good to me, he never flaked on me, he never raised a hand to me, he wanted to love me and do right by me. he fucking went to rehab for me....come on...mostly for his son, and his daughter but for me too, he told me he wanted to be someone in my life that i was number one to. because ive never had that. im trying to be that for myself but fuck, that gets old. hahaha, in more ways than one...but ray definately loved me...i was looking through a bunch of letters/memories from the entire time i knew him and man...we did this thing for 16 years. thats a long damned time, eh? i never loved mikey. no, thats not true. i loved him, but i was never in love with him...and when we split....i realized that being 'in love' with the dude youre with is HUGE. you can care about someone and have love for them, and respect etc...but if youre not in love w/ them, it is sort of hampering to the relationship. the more i ramble, and the more i think about this, the more i realize that he never was in love with me either....random fact for ya---mikey was always talking about the movie PCU...i had seen it a couple of times before, but it didnt make a huge impression...i digress....and now i understand why---the womynist chick with the ugly hair and bad piercings looks JUST LIKE MERIDITH. years before he even met her he was obsessed with girls that look like her...gross is all i can say to that...but then, he went on to be into chicks that definately were not ME....and i dont even care anymore. im getting it everyday...understanding that we were sooooooooo not meant to be together....oh my god.how the fuck do i always end up on this subject when i start out somewhere else? i was talking about ray....and how much i loved him from the moment i saw him. but now im done w/that. moving on.
THIS SECTION HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO WHINING AND TATTLE-TELLING. THANK YOU, DRIVE THROUGH
i love cameron though...i miss him so much that it hurts me to think about. did i talk yesterday about how i think it may have been bambino this entire time? weird how things just creep into your skull...anyway, back to cam..it goes hand in hand with how much i miss grant and kerri too. i was surrounded so much by ppl i loved that got me through the day, that this last year in the forest of hell has been really hard....oh well, again-im getting there. cameron will be here june 13-23. im not even sure how much i'll see him while he's here, cause of the kid situation but we'll find a way to get things done...we always do. i was supposed to be in new orleans w/ ziede and co that week but i havent seen cameron in 2 years, so im putting off the N.O. trip. maybe indefinately because i dont see the arab rescheduling for my punk ass.
hmmm,what else? suppose thats it for the day...guess it wouldnt be complete unless i threw in a little ben gibbardness though, eh?
'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"
So who's going to watch you die?..
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22 comments:
Let's see I am no one you know...however, by your insane, incoherent and drunken binge fueled blogs I can tell that you are probably quite a rude, mean and spiteful person. Afterall, you readily admit to hating so many people. How can you live with so much hatred? You must spend your days walking around in a black cloud of gloom...it's pathetic to be honest.
However, you do have a point; people do cruise said blogs and occasionally leave comments. Perhaps I shouldn't have left one sayng you're lame, but what you're saying is lame.
You seem to dwell too much and you also seem to be quite negative. One moment you're talking about a guy name Mike the next its about a guy named Ray...what, do you think every man in the world is or was in love with you?!?! I highly doubt that to be true...
I suppose blogging is your only therapy or should I say drinking heavily and then blogging is your therapy....
Oh and apparently it does bother you that I left a comment because you took the time to write about it in this blog right here that I am leaving another comment for...Good try attempt at being a hard ass...
What the hell kind of a name is Brooke for a girl anyway? Is she just some 300 pound land whale just laying around the house (and I mean AROUND the house) on a Friday night pretending to be cool? Sittin' there in front of her computer in her Wal-Mart nightie munchin' a Taco Bell burrito and sippin' a 42oz big gulp dreaming her dreamy dreams of being thin and popular? It's like she thinks she's the blog patrol or some shit. How sad and pathetic and boring is HER life that she's on here devoting her time to bludgeoning a total stranger with her malcontent. In fact, I don't intend to dignify such rancor with further comment. See you in church on Sunday, Brook(e).
Oh my gosh "righteous" Steve, you totally caught me...I am a 300 no 500 pound woman who sits around and I do mean around the house spewing my righteous indignation at comlete strangers that I have never heard of nor met...How did you ever catch on? You must have attended some hot ivy league school...seriously did you major in the area of detection or are you just a natural genius? Again, thank you for taking the time to care enough to comment...
I think there's a community college somewhere that offers a BA in "detection" but I'm not sure about the Ivy League.
hhhhhhhhhhhhhahahhaaaaaaaahhhahahahhaaaaaaahhhahahhahahahaaaaaaahhhahahahhhhhhhhhahahahaaaaaaaaa
Actually Steve, if you knew anything at all you would know that community colleges don't offer bachelor's degrees...let's try to do a little research before we attempt to "snap back"
I was going to say that you're blog makes me sad, then I read the comments. I didn't read what this Brooke chick wrote on your other entry, but this shit is funny.
dude, grant---its hilarious.
Well, a listener told me about this blog.
I must say, in light of such hateful expression of one's feelings for me, I must take back my apology.
no, you dont need to take back your apology.you know how i feel about things. you and i have had many a conversation about my not being able to handle your CONSTANT preaching at me and telling me how to live my life. and thats that.
I have a question, what kind of "personality" calls himself Michael Knight? The only thing I can think of is that it is his real name. Now, I don't want to open up some can of worms about this, but seriously, it's almost as bad as the turd on X96 that uses Artie Fuffkin. It's almost sad.
Michael, having said that just now, I don't harbor any ill will toward you. I can't say that I have ever heard you on the air, so can't give any professional criticism. All I know of you is what Lulu has said, and that has to be taken with rather large grain of salt.
But please, the name? Please.
Well, Grant, I have heard you on the air, and I think you do a pretty ok job.
As for what my name is...is that REALLY what intelligent adults discuss?
Wow...I need to update my social subjects file.
re reading things.... thinking i should maybe say a little something about this whole deal...first of all, its surprising that i DONT walk around in a black cloud of gloom. but whatever....i dwell too much? are you kidding me? what brookey doesnt understand here, and im not sure i want her to, is that i just buried the only man i will ever love. he is dead. and it was just one month ago.dwelling? nah. dealing. if she had actually read what ive written she would see that i do not think every man to be in love with me. thats why i told her she needed a lesson in comprehension. the reason i have not 'defended' myself to her, is because she just doesnt get it. she doesnt know me, she doesnt understand basics of life. and thats ok, when she graduates 8th grade, she will have some life experiences. and maybe then, she will write about them and we can colab ala the neptunes to write a bad ass book filled w/teen angst and death and hatred. i really really hope she continues to read and post...its bringing me out of my pathetic cloud of gloom. ♥
Well, maybe the "C" word was a bit strong, but I still don't like her.
Gotta watch my manners.
michael, the great thing about us intelligent adults (including you in that group until proven otherwise) is that we can talk about anything we want. Being in the industry affords us the ability to talk specifically about other's names. There are good ones (Tim Virgin) and there are bad ones (Artie Fuffkin), and the rest of us just hope to be closer to the former than the latter.
Let your manners loose, michael. If you can't here, then I submit you cannot anywhere.
Since we're letting our manners go...I just farted.
Well, Grant, I do appreciate your words on manners and the like.
The truth is, I cannot let my manners loose, because it offends people when I do. Then I get written up or something...
Life is like that sometimes.
And just for the record, I actually have a reason my on-air name is different than my real name. Simply put, I've been down that road before in 17 years in the "biz".
LauraLee knows the story, but I will relate it sometime if we all get bored.
I am sure we will never get THAT bored in here! LOL
And Steve...what did you have for lunch man?? Beer and eggs?? Phew!! LOL
This may be my last post on here, as it is ZL's blog, and I'm not the most popular person in her world right now.
Imagine whirrled peas!
Michael, no beef with you having a different name on-air than off, but Knight Rider? I actually would be very interested in the story behind both why you use a psuedonym and why you chose that particular one.
Until then...
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