My memory cannot recall... a wave of alcohol we shared a cigarette and shaved the hours off.

yeah, dude its totally over. havent said a word to or seen hide nor hair of big mike for a week. and part of me is completely and totally ok with it. course the other part is breaking down into bits again.....but i think the the ok with it part is winning. it was fun while it lasted. we had a whirlwind of insanity thats for sure and i was so thankful for it when it came into my life. i needed it more than i needed anything else right now. and now its over. i moved, left the man that was dragging me down into the depths, got a great new job and met amazing friends, left my friends and miss them awfully, bought a car, lost a bunch of weight, started feeling like my life is in fact that MY life, had a restraining order slapped on me, buried the only man i have ever been in love with, spent too much time drinking that memory away, lost my license due to unpaid court costs(yeah, i STILL dont understand that one, but im working on it)had surgery to remove parts of me that dont work right, thought i was knocked up, wished my ex husband dead, and now its thursday.....amidst all of that, mike came into my life. so you can see that it was exactly what i needed....he was wonderful. so fun, so free, sex was great,he was actually proud to have me around his friends and family, said all of the right things, did all of the right things when it was important.....and now its gone. the reason i think im ok with it all though is because FUCK after all of the bullshit that ive been through with guys, with my health, with everyone i know dropping dead, this is nothing...in fact, its probably helped me because now i know that it is possible for me to move forward in my 'love life(whatever that means)' and that maybe, just maybe im not completely unloveable.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret

Cause each broken heart will eventually mend

As the blood runs red down the needle and thread

Someday you will be loved